Hash songs

Here's your sacred, shouted, slightly offensive collection of RH3's finest trail anthems.

Here's to (Names),
He's true blue,
He's a Hasher,
Through and through,
He's a pisspot,
So they say,
Tried to go to heaven,
But he went the other way,
So drink it down, down, down...
(Continue or go to "Why Are We Waiting")
    

Leader: And now, gentlemen, a prayer,
A prayer for the constipated.
Response: SHIT!
Leader: A prayer for the frustrated.
Response: FUCK!
Leader: A prayer for the dehydrated.
Response: Beer!
Leader: A prayer for the emasculated.
Response: BALLS!

Balls to Mr. Bengelstein...
(continues with chant)
    

Father Abraham
Had seven sons.
Seven sons had Father Abraham.
And they never laughed,
And they never cried
All they did was go like this:

(Add one action each verse)
With a left (arm)
With a right (arm)
With a left (leg)
With a right (leg)
With a hee (bob forward)
With a hoe (pelvic thrust)
    

There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd
And he sat upon a telegraph pole.
He stuck out his little neck,
And he shat about a peck
As he puckered up his little asshole.

Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
As he puckered up his little asshole.
    

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fucking use to anyone,
He's no fucking use at all.

He may be a joy to his mother
But he's a pain in the asshole to me.
Drink it down, down, down, down...
Him - him - FUCK HIM! (Or her)

• OR •
He may be a pain to his mother
But he's a gerbil in the asshole to me.

• OR •
He ought to be thoroughly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot,
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
    

Hashy birthday to you,
Hashy birthday to you,
You look like a hasher,
And you smell like one too.
Drink it down, down, down...
    

He's a hasher, he's okay,
Works all day, comes out to play,
Drinks it down without complaint,
Or he wears it well.

Drink it!
Wear it!
Drink it!
Wear it!
    

He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.

All he does is pound it,
Ever since he found it,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.

He's always pissing on us,
He's rotten and dishonest,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.

So drink it down, down, down...
    

We're singing in the rain,
Just singing in the rain,
What a glorious day, and we're hap, hap, happy again!

Arms out,
Hands together,
Thumbs up,
Elbows out,
Shoulders back,
A-CHU.CHA.CHA, CHU.CHA.CHA, CHU.CHA.CHA

Titties front,
Stomach in,
Ass out,
Knees together,
Right leg up,
Left leg up,
Toes together,
Knees bend,
Chin out,
Nose front,
etc ending with HEADS UP!!
    

Chorus:
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home;
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home.

I looked over Jordan, and what did I see,
A band of angels coming after me...

If you get there before I do,
Tell all my friends that I'm a-coming too...

I'm sometimes up and sometimes down,
But still my soul feels heavenly bound...

I've never been to heaven, but I've been told,
That the streets in heaven are paved with gold...

Repeat:
With Reverence (humming only)
Silently (motions only)
Double Time (quickly)
Scooby-Doo (ring row, reet rariot...)
Bob Dylan (imitate Bob D.)