There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd
And he sat upon a telegraph pole.
He stuck out his little neck,
And he shat about a peck
As he puckered up his little asshole.

Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
As he puckered up his little asshole.

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fucking use to anyone,
He's no fucking use at all.

He may be a joy to his mother
But he's a pain in the asshole to me.
Drink it down, down, down, down…
Him - him - FUCK HIM! (Or her)

• OR •
He may be a pain to his mother
But he's a gerbil in the asshole to me.
Drink it down, down, down, down…
Him - him - FUCK HIM! (Or her)

• OR •
He ought to be thoroughly pissed on,
He ought to be publicly shot,
He ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot.
Drink it down, down, down, down…
Him - him - FUCK HIM! (Or her)

Hashy birthday to you,
Hashy birthday to you,
You look like a hasher,
And you smell like one too.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

He's a hasher, he's okay,
Works all day, comes out to play,
Drinks it down without complaint,
Or he wears it well.
Drink it!
Wear it!
Drink it!
Wear it!
etc . . .

He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.

All he does is pound it,
Ever since he found it,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.

He's always pissing on us,
He's rotten and dishonest,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.

So drink it down, down, down . . .

We're singing in the rain, Just singing in the rain, What a glorious day, and we're hap, hap, happy again,
Arms out,
Hands together,
Thumbs up,
Elbows out,
Shoulders back,
A-CHU.CHA.CHA, CHU.CHA.CHA, CHU.CHA.CHA

Titties front,
Stomach in,
Ass out,
Knees together,
Right leg up,
Left leg up,
Toes together,
Knees bend,
Chin out,
Nose front,
etc ending with HEADS UP!!